Journey to Land's End

Just happens to have been the title of one my favourite childhood books, and that's exactly what we did a few weeks ago, but first…

I’ve just got back from doing the weekly shopping at my local co-op and was at first therefore a bit pressed to come up with this entry’s Good Thing to Say about England. How can they not have all the staples of a normal diet like coriander, pine nuts, artichoke hearts? Still, in all fairness, I’m sure the locals say the same thing when they move to Brisbane, wander around the local the Woolies searching in despair for dried mushy peas….

However, then I remembered the beer. There are definitely days when real english ale tops the list of things I like about England! (They also do very good cheese).

The month of May is blessed with two “bank holidays” (ie public holidays). These are no doubt tied in history to some religious and/or pagan events (May Day comes to mind) but these days they’re given the glamorous names of Early May Bank Holiday and Spring Bank Holiday. As Ulrich was going to be with me for the former, I hired a car and we set off down south.

The beautiful thing was that the weather leading up to this holiday had been miserable, the economy’s in the doldrums, fuel’s up to about £1.20/L (about AU$2.50) and so although I was expecting hordes of people, it really wasn’t too bad. The only traffic jams the whole time was to get around a horse fair on the way down and about an hour’s delay on the M5 coming home.

The first stop was the historic town of Rugby, historic of course because of that famous lad who got frustrated on the field and decided to pick up the ball and run with it instead. Well, it’s a little more complex as we learnt in the little Rugby museum. They’ve put a statue of William Web Ellis outside of his alma mater nonetheless.

And what a school! The grounds are enormous, the buildings imposing, the facilities extensive, and the girls (yes, they let girls go there too now) have to wear the ugliest uniforms you have ever seen in your life! Clearly therefore only for the wealthiest, most upper class citizens of this fine land. Needless to say, the football pitch was superb.

Next off was Oxford (I’d like to think of a witty pun about going from school to university here but it escapes me). This city is definitely worth a visit if for no other reason than it really does feel unusual. Guides books talk of the “rarefied air” of course, and I’m in no position to argue given that it clearly had an effect on us – we launched into such a series of in-depth philosophical discussions that I didn’t take any decent photos. Looking back, I should have taken a photo of all the bikes, seriously you could think you’re in Holland!

We then passed through the Cotswalds which is a collection of farming areas listed as an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty and it certainly is although I’m not sure about the natural bit. I haven’t quite come round to the concept that the national parks over here have all sorts of human activities. However, it’s a very remote area – one lass told us that sometimes you can pass a house and not pass another one for 6 miles! As it’s not far from London, I’m again very glad to have gone there when we did and not at the height of summer which just would have been hell.

The next morning we were up early and into Cheltenham. Now, I’m sure this fine city has a illustrious history for many reasons, but the only thing I knew about it was that it holds the Cheltenham Gold Cup every year thanks to reading all those Dick Francis novels as a kid (there’s a bit of an english novel theme here, in half the places I fully expected Timmy the dog to come bounding out). So we headed straight for the racecourse, and in the early morning light it was superb. Those hurdles out on the course are not small – definitely taller than me anyway and awfully imposing as you walk up to them. Maybe they look a bit better from on top of a horse?

After a lovely roundabout route we met up with Emma and Gerard for lunch in Salisbury. A rather expensive lunch as it turned out when I got back to the car 15 after the parking ticket had expired....

Then it was off to the sea. We made it that night into Torquay, a luxurious seaside resort as you can see from the picture. They call themselves the English Riviera and the beaches were certainly about the same. Naturally it was imperative to have the fish and chips for dinner.

The next day we started meandering through either Dartmoor or Exmoor forest (I can never get them straight). A beautiful day with loads of walkers out enjoying the sunshine. We asked the GPS (I love my GPS) to talk us the shortest route rather than the fastest which was an interesting experience. With all the hedges fully recovered from winter, you didn’t always see much though (these guys had overcome that problem).

We continued on after lunch at a pub filled with sailors (not too surprising considering how close we were to the Plymouth naval base) until around Penzance and at last to Land’s End. As you approach it, you start seeing “The First and Last Pub”, “The First and Last Hotel” etc. (Funnily, it was only “The First School”). We were there with plenty of time to take a long stroll along the magnificent cliff face.

It was a great walk, but about the first 10 minutes were occupied with “do you smell…. coconut? I’m sure that’s coconut!". We eventually tracked it down to these innocuous looking guys.

And then the next day, around through the second national park and a beautiful coastal forest walk and then it was time to tackle the M5.

Manchester is "heaving"

As promised, I’m going to starting each new post with things I like about England (until I run out). Today – the way certain things are phrased:

[On the phone] You’re not here today, are you
That’s an astute observation
Oh aye, I’m sharp, me

[eg] She was so happy with her present
Oh bless

[eg] I don’t like cheese
Do you not?

And “it’s going off!” translates in English to “it’s heaving” (hence the title of this post)

I have been gearing up to blog about our trip through the south west with photos and the full travelogue. But that’s still coming - in the meantime I had to describe the scene in Manchester today.

As soon as I got off the train this morning I realised something was up (oh aye, I’m sharp me). That’s going to tell you that I still haven’t really been following the football. For today the UEFA cup final is being held in Manchester between the Glasgow Rangers and Zenit St Petersburg.

Now, I still haven’t got my head all the way round all the different competitions (eg I know that Manchester United is playing Chelsea next Wednesday in Moscow in the Champions League final – go figure). What I do know is that there are 100,000 Scots currently roaming the streets in full footy regalia (and aren’t I happy that today I wore the blue jacket?)! I haven’t been able to quite make out the chants but I’ve since had them explained and I don’t think I’ll repeat any here. The basic theme is anti IRA, anti Pope.

You see, the Rangers are the protestant football team of Glasgow. Phil the doorman gave me a lecture this morning the Battle of Boyne, James I, William of Orange etc after I asked why a whole lot of clearly scottish lads were wondering around town draped in a union jack emblazoned with a lovely picture of Queen Liz.

Some of the highlights so far:

• There are masses of plane spotters out at the airport being delighted by dozens of antique Russian aircraft coming in
• A public golf course was opened up for the fans to camp on
• The pubs opened at 10am this morning and have been doing a brisk trade (not unexpected)
• Some of the more enterprising local buskers are sporting rangers’ scarves
• Both cops and horses are in riot gear (which for the horses means plastic visors)
• One guy said he’d paid £7k for 7 tickets
• The air on this clear crisp late spring day is filled with marijuana
• Apparently there was a 7 mile hold up on the motorway this morning
• I can hear the crowd from the 5th floor of my office tucked away in a back street
• There was a Carlsberg TANKER spied in the streets this morning and I'm sure not the only one
• Sainsburys cleared their shelves of all bottled alcohol - cans and plastic wine containers only
• As I write there is a series of 3 a side matches taking place in Castlefield near the canals
• A massive game of "keepsies upsies" was going on in the square this morning (where you have to keep the ball off the ground)
• The Russians apparently have their own screen but with only about 10,000 of them, I imagine they'll be swamped.

This is one of the local pubs.

So tonight I’m going to stick around for a while, at least unless it looks like the rangers are going down!